I'm going to be honest. I still can't stop feeling inadequate and analyzing and reanalyzing everything I do, and it's really supposed to be about one's MOTIVE. Rather than the action. And my motives are always flawed. What kind of person am I, really? I really hope to *Build up my foundations. So I can: Worry less. Theorize less. Practise more. And hence- actually do more. And want to!* As my mum always says, in the time you spend thinking about whether or not you should do something or arguing about it, you would have already friggin' done it!
On to happier things. I did enjoy my SMU camp a great deal. My group tended to be rather guy dominated at first because they're more outspoken, and there were 6 guys and just 4 girls who came for the camp. But by Day 2 the quieter ones would speak up with very good ideas too, since the more outspoken ones didn't overdo things. I just feel that although we were all very different people, the sum of us is rather complementary. Harmonious. Without politics. I honestly respect and admire each and every one of them in their own way. Which is rare. And I am grateful. I am grateful for kind words of encouragement even when I was a dreadful cockswain when we were dragon-boating. I am happy that although we weren't the top team or anything, we did our best and we enjoy each others' company. (We did win the cooking competition though, which has got to be the funniest thing ever. Cheers to Yuanru, Duncan and Caressa especially for that one!) I am grateful for the quiet bond we gained in planning and working together and learning as a team. I am grateful for the practical and detailed activities that challenged us and forced us to think and grow. And I'm grateful to the facis who kept on pushing us to do our best and didn't mince on criticisms and integrity. They make me think of that famous HP quote: To decide between what is easy and what is right.
Suitcase of memories
* The spider web, where we first Learned
* Cooking maggi mee and other rations combat style and eating it in grimy pots by torchlight. Yes, and the smiley face that won first prize.
* The square game because it seemed so ludicrous at first
* When we had to use one word to describe each other- euphemisms, euphemisms!
* The Scene on the second night in Chinese Garden- Reddish-pink sky, silhouettes of trees, lights in the HDB flats. Towels hanging on the raffia.
* The Symphony of Snores the same night. *snore- whisper whisper- giggle giggle- "SHADDUP LAH!"* Thus, no sleep!
* Water cup game!
I'm not saying that we're going to become the best of friends and dance off into the sunset and live happily ever after, all Pollyanna-ish. I'm just saying that the camp achieved something and my group had sweet people.
I'm also thankful that our facis very nicely took pictures of all the activities we were doing so we could store up the memories for keeps, since we couldn't take the pics ourselves. And we didn't actually bring cameras so the best we could do was use our handphones, thus:
That team. Yes, that one! Collage courtesy of Aries. Thank God for camera phones.
Ning and I talked to Mel for over two hours on long-distance yesterday- argh the bills! But it was worth it. Happy happy birthday, dear. Really sorry about the delay with cancelled phone lines etc. It's so weird- the three of us are going to be at different points around the globe! Never would have imagined it. Left a message at your LJ ok. With your Kenyan friend in Australia, Ning with her Californian room mate with the Hispanic-sounding name (yes, mum hit the roof) in very white Virginia, I can only hope to live up to the cosmopolitan-ness! Ning- I hope you have the time of your life. :) A whole new chapter in less than three weeks.
8:53 PM
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