1) BLOG regularly. And I want to be as honest as possible, and for my blog to always remain public. Because no matter how egocentric this may sound, you never know when what you write may touch and help someone in some small way. Because I have encountered blogs that have been such a great source of encouragement to me.

And I know that in all the times I took the time to write down something that really mattered to me, I have never regretted. Because I was able to look back and learn.

What I did regret was having breaks where I just didn't blog, because I was going through a period where I wasn't too happy with my life and not blogging was just a side-effect of pretending everything is ok. But it is so important to look at your life so you know what you did wrong.

I think my blogging has always beens sporadic and prone to long silences. But I do believe that writing is definitely one of the ways I express myself, and discover new things I never knew were there, and developing and expanding on thoughts just pooling in my head, which would have just continued pooling in my head had I not sat down to write about them! It's the best way I thrash things out with myself. All in all, it's a healthy activity for both myself and others, so I say, let's get on with it. It takes time, but it's always worth it when you share a part of yourself with others, and accepting myself in all my flaws.

I kept a journal in a past that wasn't regular, but when I wrote in it, I liked how I was able to really grow and expand my mind with it. The plus with a journal is also how I could write in as disorganized and honest a fashion I liked. Good reasons, but nonetheless, selfish ones. However, the bad part was that journals tend to get tucked under other books and things on my desk, and I tend to not like taking it out to read when I'm in one of my avoidant tendencies. With a blog, I'm forced to organize my thoughts in a way that makes sense to others, which in fact teaches me also to learn how to put across my opinions to others in conversations in a way that they can understand. Because it would lack a point if I had this point I thought would be helpful to someone, but she didn't get it because it got lost in translation? I think sometimes I should have just taken Comms as a major. And a blog is something I would be forced to constantly read because the Internet is something I cannot avoid, the addict that I am. So I would also be reminded of the things I need to think through. Furthermore, it's all public. You can't hide from the world that you went back on a promise you made to yourself because all will know it too.

2) I think another part of this is the need for me to learn to be an open book. Anyone who knows me well enough would know that I absolutely hate sharing about myself with others. And how difficult I find it to express my feelings and thoughts. I think this just is a reflection of inbuilt fear of what I say being stupid, and not being comfortable with who I am. I have been this way pretty much all my life. I think the more I write honestly, the easier it will be to say in real life as well.

4:23 PM
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------