What is love? (Again?)

I think everyone has their own interpretations of this question. To me, it is this.

Loving someone the way God loves us. One way to interpret it is being commited to the long term good of another person. This can be complicated. It makes me think of the expression. "If you really love someone, let them go. If they were meant to be yours, they will come back somehow. If not, that was the way it was meant to be." Cliche, but definitely true. If you are committed to the long term good of another person, you'll think for their own good, even if they themselves do not see it at the time. They may hate you for it, even refuse to talk to you, etc. etc. Why do you think the unconditional love of parents is sometimes so difficult for us to appreciate?

Sometimes this definition can be blurred. I think it is quite easy to say that you are committed to the long term good of a friend. It is easier that way when emotions aren't involved. How do you truly be committed to someone you are actually attracted to? How do you tell them the truth in love, even let them go in love? It isn't easy to let someone go when you think that you no longer are the best person for them to grow. Your own heart may so easily deceive you when you desire to be near that person. You worry that someone else will come along and take her away from you if you do so.

Love is being committed to the long term good of another person, even at your own expense.

Self-sacrificial love.

That's what I believe. If they were meant to be, they will come back. In the mean time, spend it growing up.

I also believe that there's no such thing as "the one". It's simply a matter of who's the best person for you at that point in your life.


Looking at all of this, I feel quite embarassed. Have I been been dedicated to the long term good of the other person in my previous relationships?

No.

Maybe I was at first. But I stopped along the way, when it got difficult. When I stopped taking care of myself and hence having to put my needs over his. It's like the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs you always see. In order to love others, you have to love yourself first.

Ending off with a quote which has nothing to do with this post but I like:

"In order for evil to triumph, the good man only needs to do nothing."