These three years
So I was doing research for a presentation late in school and uploading the photos for the previous post. Walking throught the deserted campus at these hours brought on the second deja vu of my JC days in a matter of a week- the first being something I shall not mention because it is trivial (ok, also embarassing). Ask me on MSN! It was strange that I would relate this experience of hanging around school late for schoolwork to my JC days when it seems so much more relevant to university- I think it must be due to the fact that SMU never seems to close and seems to be generally well lit 24 hours! It brought to mind days of staying back late for band practices for an upcoming concert, days of hanging around school late during orientations and school events, days of hanging around just a little longer at any excuse- hoping to catch a glimpse of someone you had a crush on. I remember this with nothing but light, pleasant nostalgia.
I welcome these memories much more than the last three years. The memories of things I could enjoy without any risk or any pain.
The last three years- I shy away from remembering. The last three years brought many phases of joy and sadness. I shy away from remembering either of these- because somehow, I cannot seem to remember the good without the bad- they come as a whole.
That's the price we pay for actually living I guess (:
And I think I get on a lot better by putting all of it aside. I'm not saying to forget them completely and pretend it never happened, but just to store them securely at the back of my mind and not take them out anymore. Because nostalgia on what is over brings on issues you really should no longer be wasting time thinking about.
-----------
I tell everyone that my days in JC were my darkest ones. They are memories I can look back on without too much thought, an ignorant bliss. I basically just floated through life with no thought whatsoever as to why I was doing such and such. Nothing really bad or really good happened. It was a limbo of sorts.
It is these three years I will treasure most of all. The memories of earlier times are tossed around haphazard around my head, picked up easily, and equally easily lost. I know I've been told before that I shouldn't forget and to treasure the good memories, but that's the point. I'm not forgetting and I am treasuring! They're locked up in the treasure chest in my mind, not easily taken out, but never lost.
-----------
And it was rather chilly and rainy as I walked home; at each breath the clouds of warm air floated away from me like a ghost.
So I was doing research for a presentation late in school and uploading the photos for the previous post. Walking throught the deserted campus at these hours brought on the second deja vu of my JC days in a matter of a week- the first being something I shall not mention because it is trivial (ok, also embarassing). Ask me on MSN! It was strange that I would relate this experience of hanging around school late for schoolwork to my JC days when it seems so much more relevant to university- I think it must be due to the fact that SMU never seems to close and seems to be generally well lit 24 hours! It brought to mind days of staying back late for band practices for an upcoming concert, days of hanging around school late during orientations and school events, days of hanging around just a little longer at any excuse- hoping to catch a glimpse of someone you had a crush on. I remember this with nothing but light, pleasant nostalgia.
I welcome these memories much more than the last three years. The memories of things I could enjoy without any risk or any pain.
The last three years- I shy away from remembering. The last three years brought many phases of joy and sadness. I shy away from remembering either of these- because somehow, I cannot seem to remember the good without the bad- they come as a whole.
That's the price we pay for actually living I guess (:
And I think I get on a lot better by putting all of it aside. I'm not saying to forget them completely and pretend it never happened, but just to store them securely at the back of my mind and not take them out anymore. Because nostalgia on what is over brings on issues you really should no longer be wasting time thinking about.
-----------
I tell everyone that my days in JC were my darkest ones. They are memories I can look back on without too much thought, an ignorant bliss. I basically just floated through life with no thought whatsoever as to why I was doing such and such. Nothing really bad or really good happened. It was a limbo of sorts.
It is these three years I will treasure most of all. The memories of earlier times are tossed around haphazard around my head, picked up easily, and equally easily lost. I know I've been told before that I shouldn't forget and to treasure the good memories, but that's the point. I'm not forgetting and I am treasuring! They're locked up in the treasure chest in my mind, not easily taken out, but never lost.
-----------
And it was rather chilly and rainy as I walked home; at each breath the clouds of warm air floated away from me like a ghost.
12:00 AM
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
