Haha just remembered what one of my Sunday school teachers said when asked to comment about life: "It's like a soap opera- way too drama and way too long." ;) Cracked me up there.
Hmm... Set some goals for the hols.
1) Learn how to cook. Like, properly. It's like an embarassment to be female and not know such an important skill... not that it's all right for males to not know how to cook... just I remembered one Joe Millionare episode (that was the only episode I ever watched. I swear.) where the girl in question was supposed to prepare dinner with that Evan guy... and she completely did not know how to cook... I was so embarassed watching it... she kind of mixed up the different food items... and her excuse? "All my old boyfriends cooked for me." Like uh... no matter how true that show is... they probably were acting anyway... but it still horrifies me...
2) Exercise more. That has been on my goals list for like umpteen years and never got fulfilled. Bleah. Don't really care so much about losing weight... just want to keep fit.
3) Practise my trumpet skills... there is a lot of room for major improvement... my lip slurs suck completely and it's supposed to be basic. Then there's like a concert and band fest and a lot of things coming up... must reallly improve my sound.
Yeesh thinking so much when I really should be thinking about PROMOS.
Better get back to it right now.
8:01 PM
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I think I'm going through another stage where I hate everyone, myself included. Got to do with it though. I mean God doesn't make junk!
11:48 PM
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1:24 PM
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Have spent most of the week doing project work- it just feels good that we're probably working better together now after so many meetings. I still want to throttle some of my group mates pretty often (haha Hui Ling- you know very well what I'm talking about). But at least my tolerance level has increased somewhat. Am I actually benefitting from something from our education system? What is the world coming to?
But then again- nothing much in the world really surprises me anymore. Which is kind of sad. Time to get back some child-like curiosity... perhaps I'd be a little more interested in finding what Malu's Law is actually supposed to signify then.
7:31 PM
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Ning and I have a bit of a comic fetish haha. Life is sad. Relying on the idiot box for entertainment- only thing that doesn't require thinking and you can just conk out in front of it and stone.
I really like Daria's expression. It's so- smug.
Anyway catch her on Chinese MTV (channel 51) weeknights, 10pm. Only when you're sick of studying, of course.
9:07 PM
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A reasonably pleasant day. Had a nice catch-up chat with Michelia during out two hour Chinese break. It feels so good to have someone with so many of the same opinions as yourself! Gabbed about past and present over her lunch and my beastly vectors 3 tutorial (which, of course, didn't get much done). Talked about a mutual friend that somehow, we both haven't talked to for a while... like how you can be in closer in different schools than when you're together. It's no one's fault really... just the inevitable that things change. Like I just said, "things change a lot after the first 3 months" and though we didn't say it out loud, we both knew what it meant. Things just shuffled around. And then you miss what you had and wish you hadn't taken it forgranted. The friendship is still there... just that there's a lot of dust that has to be brushed off. I just hope we both can recover it.
One of my teachers in secondary school commented that after going to JC, many of our girls become very exclusive and tend to only stick to select groups of people that are "good enough" for them. I see it now... not really true, but it exists. All I can say is woman... find yourself. What makes one any "better" than the next person? Who are you to judge? Please stop treating the 'common people' like dirt. This is not the place for acting like royalty. And believe me... there will come a time when your fine friends discover what kind of person you are. No matter how deceiving your visage.
Got kind of carried away there... sorry about the rant. I shall end on a happier note:
Today's edition of Life's simple pleasures:
-sharing nasi bryani with wei wei and shuhui in the canteen 'cos we can never finish one plate ourselves
-green milk tea!!! (I just realized that I haven't had a single cup this week! Horrors!)
-tonight's dinner:
plain dou gan with a touch of salt
xiao bai cai
one potato patty
curry chicken
heaven.
Quite sad... I think I have discovered my new ambition... I shall be a foodie!
Now back to revision of the stupid college song 'cos the notes insist on leaking out of my head. Then econs... and hopefully some physics.
7:18 PM
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'Cause I'm awake in my room
I've been up for 38 hours
And it don't look like sleep's coming soon
'Cause I could break like a bird
Or I could swallow the sea
It seems like the daylight is coming
No one is watching but me
But I don't mind the dark
Discovering the day
'Cause the night is a beautiful bright blue and gray
What brings me down now is love
'cause I can never get enough
And what brings me down now is love
'cause I can never get enough of love
And it's a dangerous time
for a heart on a wire
Shuttle from station to station
noisily not knowing why
So I put my head on the ground
and the sky is a wheel
Spinning these days into things that I've lost
But you can keep all the years
But I don't mind the days
gone rolling away
Cause all this sunlight feels warm on my face today
But what brings me down now is love
cause I can never get enough
What brings me down now is love
cause I can never get enough never get enough
Never get enough no no
Never get enough of love
I can never get enough of love
What brings me, brings me down now is love
Cause I can never get enough of love
I can never get enough of love [2X]
I can never ever get enough
I can never get enough of love
-'Goodnight L.A.', Counting Crows
Charming lyrics... like the way they use so many images... kind of like a painting...
9:48 PM
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What I have learned: Don't fret if you can't be everything. But don't use it as an excuse to be less than what you have the potential to be. Be the best that you can. Don't hold back or become disillusioned. I am sick of making excuses for myself. And comparing myself to others. All those "she/he didn't do so I don't have to" or "why can't I be more like her/him"... gotta live my own life.
Mugging wise... not doing too badly. I suppose. But I think next week will be downhill all the way. I mean the only time of the day I can study properly is the morning. Don't think I have successfully studied anything during night hours. Haiz. Guess I will have to force myself to do so... there's just no other way...
Recently discovered a new route in my neighbourhood- like going for evening walks with Ning after sitting around staring at notes the whole day. I'm lucky to live in such a nice neighbourhood. Many chio houses to gawk at- all charming in their own individual way. Some huge bungalow types that I wouldn't mind staying in. I like the fact that the houses are of the relatively old sort. The new kind nowadays all look exactly the same and have tiny gardens. Claustrophobic, I am.
Songs of the moment: Goodnight L.A. by Counting Crows and Numb by Linkin Park.
...And it's a dangerous time
For a heart on a wire...
..All I want to do is to be more like me
And be less like you...
9:16 PM
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I'm following the schedule of my revision relatively ok, but then again it's only the beginning and haven't actually gone all out. Feel as though I'm too relaxed right now and should just start doing tomorrow's work. One of my classmates actually finished studying Physics and is half-way through Chem. Crazy idiot. I think I'm like the last to start really mugging. But I guess the pressure from peers is good... otherwise I doubt I would start studying at all. I feel like I'm floating on some barrier between two destinations, neither here nor there. In more ways than one.
Just found out that Huixin's sister is going for the integrated programme and is coming to NJ next year... she's in like Sec 2 now. It'll be nice to see her... though the whole IP thing still doesn't really go down well with me. I just hate changes. Just when things are already changing so rapidly you don't know what to hold on to anymore... there come more changes. Hooray. I like this description in Feeling Sorry For Celia by Jaclyn Moriarty, a crappy but extremely hilarious book:
One character comments:
It's like I've been catching this bus all year and things keep changing... Everyday I'm there in the same seat and all around me other people's llives are taking all these twists and loops like a ribbon dancer at the Olympics.
To which her friend replies:
It's quite common to be sitting on a bus and feeling like the bus is standing still while the trees and letter boxes slide on past the windows. But you're normally WRONG if you think that, because in fact you're sliding along the road and the post boxes are just standing there.
Hmm... relative velocity perhaps? ;)
9:37 PM
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